How old were you when you started to dream about having a family of your own?
For some of us, it started from a very early age. For others, the maternal instinct kicks in later on in life.
Whatever age you were, becoming “mum” often feels like your destiny. Like it’s written in the stars.
An infertility diagnosis is never part of the plan.
Sadly, far too many women find that the path they hoped to take is full of twists, turns, hurdles, and even some dead ends. But there’s hope for any woman experiencing a negative fertility diagnosis. Owing to improvements in fertility testing and available remedies.
Using donor eggs from frozen egg banks like Donor Egg Bank USA is one of them.
Learning to Accept a Different Path to Motherhood
When you’re first presented with different paths in your journey towards motherhood, it can be hard to accept any of them.
Surrogacy and adoption are two popular options, but neither give you the opportunity to enjoy being pregnant.
Using an egg donor enables you to carry and give birth to your baby.
But how do I come to terms with the fact that I must use another woman’s eggs to do this?
This is a completely natural concern most women using donor eggs face.
Will you bond with your baby? Will they feel like your own? Will your baby feel like they belong?
There are so many questions you’ll want the answers to as you embark on this next stage. But, as you learn more about the process and hear other egg donor recipients’ stories, you’ll understand these questions often pale into insignificance.
Why?
From the moment you’re given a positive pregnancy test, you’re a mum-to-be. You’re carrying your own baby. You’ll feel their first kicks. You’ll be the first to hold them in your arms.
You’ll bond with your baby through pregnancy; they are your own, and that unbreakable mother-child bond is created as they grow in your womb.
Feeling Content in Your Choice of Donor
While those using egg donors often overcome their initial worries regarding the genetics of their baby not being their own, it doesn’t dilute the importance of choosing the right egg donor. Your choice of donor is significant, and it’s vital for you to feel entirely comfortable with your decision.
There are two main options: using a donor you know or one from a donor egg bank database.
Both have their advantages and disadvantages. Using someone you know is often seen as a comfort, as you’ll be assured in your baby’s heritage. However, the potentially complex relationships this may cause in the future between you and your egg donor can be a cause for concern. In contrast, the prospect of using an egg donor may initially feel too clinical and disconnected.
While an egg donor from a catalogue isn’t the same as a close friend, you’ll learn much about them. You’ll be able to have access to a vast amount of information including their physical characteristics, medical history, and their academic and life achievements. For many individuals, this connection proves to be a gut-feeling, a sixth sense that your donor is the one for you and your family.
Embracing the Emotions as They Come and Go
Going through any kind of infertility journey and the subsequent adoption process is a rollercoaster of emotions. Some days will feel dark, lonely, and full of despair, especially when you’re beginning your new path to motherhood through adoption. But as you continue forward in the adoption process, those glimmers of light and hope will start to shine through.
Talking with family, friends, and perhaps even a professional counselor will help you process this array of emotions. Taking your time to make important decisions, like your choice of donor, is essential in helping you feel comfortable with this new road in your life.
Then, when your baby arrives, you’ll be presented with an entirely new path. A path that’s heading straight ahead towards the horizon with your child beside you. Behind you are all the bumps, hurdles, and diversions you’ve had to take to get here. These hardships and difficult choices don’t detract from your forward journey, though—they add to it. Plus, they make the road ahead so much more rewarding and uplifting.
